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The long road just keeps getting longer and longer. Today we have been LID for 7 months; honestly it hasn't been that bad - yet. This is a time when we should be full of happiness and excitement and all I feel right now is a sense of numbness. It seems that our sense that the time was right - was wrong, or at least I wish we had started 6 months sooner. Do I regret our decision - not in any way. Do I kind of wish we had picked a multi-country agency so we wouldn't lose a fortune if we switch - YES. Now, that's not to say we don't love our agency, they are the reason we chose China. They are as wonderful as any agency could be and much better than most; in my humble opinion. But nobody could have predicted this wait - nobody. It seems we might be a part of a record wait for China adoption. I don't want to be part of this record!!! It's taking so long, I don't like the crib we bought anymore (stuck with it - no big deal) and I am rethinking her name, that we picked so carefully together. This sucks, I can't even imagine anymore. It seems right now I am going to stay at least a little sad, some days very sad. I know in the end she will be here; but knowing that doesn't relieve the pain of today, of yesterday or last week. I think I need to make a list of positives and redirect the pain.
2 comments:
Hang in there....And you will love the name you picked as soon as you have a face to go with it... Think of not as a long wait but a build up of anticipation that will just explode with happiness when you finally get to hold her in your arms!!!!!!
I'm so sorry you guys are going through this! There is no consolation for this pain. As you know, I had my first miscarriage in October 2000 and it took us till this past February to hit the jackpot with our little Juliet. Now I can't imagine not having her in my life and I'm grateful that we survived the painful journey. The process did force me to grow in many, many ways, and I hope Juliet will benefit from that. Rest assured that all good things are in store for you guys! You deserve them.
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